The speed of love
For months I have been dithering around with this particular blog. Fear of not being original. Of maybe just repeating what others have said. Saying something silly and not being able to say clearly what I am trying to share. Of being misunderstood. Of not connecting.
I can no longer survive without a continual stream of creative expression. It makes me a better energy practitioner. A better listener. We are told that we are “perfect” just the way we are. I try to believe that of myself. And more often I forget.
When I first discovered blogs on line I was so grateful to all those brave souls who have gone before me. I wanted to show up here as well. I tried many times. I thought it would be easier than this. I hope hope to come back again and again it will help me live authentically. The truth is I am often afraid to express my disappointments with myself as I roam my own way through this lifetime.
This year I have taken up my art supplies and my camera and am venturing into the world of creating art again. With a different outlook . For years I have been creative and would not believe it. I thought I was dabbling. It was a cover for not being “good” at it. I reserved the title “artistic” or “creative” for those I saw as “successful” or brilliantly talented. This year I am playing creative. Experimenting and having fun! It has been much easier than I thought. Harder than I though too. I am afraid to be seen to be “playing” when I “should” be working. Yet, Being creative I create a well of inspiration I can dip into for my work. I feel like I have been starved for too long. The breath of Life starved. Love starved. Dream starved. Soul Starved.
Strange thing happened, the more I drew my “doodle art”, completed art journal pages, took photographs and showed them to people. The more I heard a familiar refrain “Oh I couldn’t do that!” “I wish I could draw, but I can’t”
If I may be so bold… that’s a lot of hogwash (or brainwash…ing?) 🙂
We are creative by nature. It’s our birthright~ to play, to experiment and experience ourselves as creative artistic beings! We need to express our creativity to feel fully alive, even if it is buried beneath layers of conditioning and self sabotage talk.
We need to nourish the creativity in our soul. We need to encourage and nurture the creative souls of those around us. How can we do this if we don’t first do it for ourselves. How can I cheer on my family, friends, acquaintances and clients; if I do not first show them who I am. I am you. You are me. Collectively we are a beautiful expression of perfect order.
Creativity is a Choice we make for ourselves and Artistic is the action of being Creative. And we all have it! Maybe you don’t believe it, or maybe your idea is that “artistic” or “creative” only applies to people who are making money from their talents. If that’s the case then of course, every time you try something, it “fails” miserably against what you believe is truly artistic.
- Your creativity might show up as the way you create the weeks menus, or prepare and serve food
- How about the care how you dress or do your hair and make-up? Do you think this is NOT creative?
- What about the attention you lavish in the layout of the rooms in your house or the design and care you tend your garden?
- Are you a gift shopper or gift wrapper genius of undeniable talent?
- How about your organisational skills, are they complimented and oohed over? LOOK: you make choices to simplify your life with attention to detail, and the artistry is in implementing the change… still not sure you are creative?
We are ALL artists at work in our own unique ways. Everything we do, and all the ways that we are, happen because each of us is a natural creative. Even down to the way we create a wonderful day or a terrible one by the way we are thinking and feeling.
What a shame to let our talents and gifts go unrecognised, or we simply fail to try; because we compare ourselves with those who have practiced for years. Or for you, maybe your dreams of talent were dashed by well meaning friends and family who “meant well”!
Years ago in high school I have memories drawing with pen and ink, feeling quite “artistic” and completely at home with myself.
Unfortunately my “art work” was seen as a bit of “doodling”. Devastated I put my supplies away and kept them hidden for 22 years!
Taking a few art classes a few years back, for one homework assignment, out came my pens and ink and a drawing was born. It was a weird little creation admittedly, but I was quite entranced by it.
At the next class I showed my drawing homework and then this piece to my art teacher, a delightful lady who was so encouraging and enthusiastic towards our efforts each week. She was enthusiastic with my pencil drawings but not the pen and ink one, in fact she dismissed it and me entirely by commenting it looked a bit “weird” and just moved on to the next student.
My question now is WHY? Why as an art teacher, someone in the unique position of understanding how hard it is for people to express themselves creatively; would you have that kind of attitude to a fledgling piece of work. I suspect she thought for my own good I should stick with the pencil drawings. Again, WHY? what is wrong with experimentation and stumbling steps?
And it isn’t just in the artistic arena that we get knocked about for “daring” to be a little different or step out of our boxes and comfort zones.
There is some great pain that is inflicted on us all when we have created or done something that is an active “expression” of ourselves, and then come face to face with that kind of reaction. Art is about, unearthing parts of your self from your deepest recesses that are uniquely YOU. And you are showing it for the world to see. And those creations or ideas are so vulnerable. So when your art, your decoration, your creation is dismissed or criticised, it is painful.
I remember feeling so ashamed of first my pen and ink art and then myself. No wonder as young people we shut down and hide who we are in favour of being what we think we need, to be acceptable. I didn’t feel so bad the second time, it just felt so unfair. I framed it and it is there on my living room wall still. But my pen and inks were put away.
Until … during a course last winter one of the students kept talking about Zentangling. It was love at first sight. A mix of my old “pen and ink doodling”, and shading and creating shadows with pencil. Almost as good as chocolate!!
Pema Chodron says “It’s a lifetimes journey to relate honestly to the immediacy of our experience and to respect ourselves enough not to judge it”
I can no longer hold my creativity at bay if I am to feel fully alive. Or keep it in the shadows in fear of rejection. Art whether it’s drawing, splashing paint around, taking photographs, cooking or re-potting plants. All of these things are an expression of the longings in my heart to be truly ME. And when I do it, it feels like “Living at the Speed of love”
YOU have questions? Drop me a line. I’m be delighted to help.
WORK WITH ME
Are you ready to take that step towards creating positive change in your life and add more creativity and play into your world?
You may not know exactly what it is you actually want, but you do know you’re looking for the next steps and some support and guidance to help you improve your life and accomplish more of what you truly desire!
Let’s just talk and see how we can work together to get you clear, confident and back in the Game
