Befriend Yourself, and YOU Befriend the world!

Dignified steps to living daringly alive!

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch up!

When you begin to seek acceptance and approval from yourself, the world becomes a brighter friendlier place to inhabit!

As a “Reformed Door Mat” 🙂 and I do speak from experience – There is Happy Life Ever After.. on the other side!

YES! the road to living life on your terms can be sometimes tricky while you negotiate a new way of thriving in your world, but you can simplify the steps.

First let me ask you

How many of you fall into bed at night, exhausted from taking care of all the things and people in your life .. and yet can barely remember what kept you busy all day? Isn’t it just amazing how we women will push ourselves SO far at one time or another, way beyond healthy limits to meet the wants of others at the expense of our own needs and desires?

Why do we do this?

Yes, we can say that from childhood we were trained to seek the approval of others and avoid disapproval at all costs. Yes, We’ve all had parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, employers and the other women in our lives constantly expecting us to step up and “do the right thing!”

But, we all know better now, don’t we? We’ve listened to our friends and co-workers talk about this, we’ve commiserated with them, vented and made our own complaints, we’ve read books, taken classes…

So why are so many women still struggling to feel “enough” and “acceptable just the way they are? Why do women still feel trapped in the role of being a “good person”, a friend to everyone else before themselves?

And why do so many still only dream of being able to follow their own hearts longings and do the things they’d love to be doing, and not have to explain themselves?

Where did we all get the idea that wanting a life for ourselves was such a selfish notion? How as grown-ups with all the choices before us can we not say … this is a totally “WACK-A-DOODLE” notion? We are not our parents, with limited choices back in the 1970’s, this is 2012 and it is a NEW world!

I’m pretty sure that we all need to break this habit … quickly … and we need to help all the women in our lives break free too. WE KNOW that when we take of ourselves, when we are happy, EVERYONE benefits from our happiness. Isn’t it time to take really take this idea on and run with it for EVERYONE’S SAKE!

And don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong in taking care of others, if it brings you satisfaction and joy and fulfilment. I personally LOVE having the opportunity to play “mummy” to my kids every so often. What a very seductive and “warm fuzzy” feeling is that? Being needed, being trusted to make everything better, but only so long as it feels good.

If you feel “stuck” in a role or roles that drag you down, depress your spirit and leave you gasping for air, then just know you need to change some LIFE agreements. These roles you have taken on, are not rules, they are not cast in stone; they are merely agreements you made in the past, with the best intentions and, now they no longer work for you. And like any agreements made, they may need changing, adjusting or throwing out and new ones put into place.

Befriend yourself and Dare to live alive

Have you been accepting the safe and easy choices, afraid to step out of your comfort zone and tell everyone… “This isn’t working for me any more, I am not happy! I need more for me!”

1. Starting today could you, be willing to believe that you matter enough to step out of your comfort zone over and over again, for however long it takes, and face your fears with courage and passion. To no longer sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it.

2. Approval and Disapproval are just opinions AND are often manipulative tools that we ALL wield from time to time to keep others in-line! 🙂 You don’t have to feel swayed by those opinions, and you don’t have to change who you are just because someone’s opinion differs from yours!

3. In life, one of the most amazingly freeing and one of the most difficult challenges is to give up your desire to be seen to be “perfect” in someone else’s eyes! Love what YOU love, do what YOU love because that determines the outcome of your dreams. And your dreams determine your actions… and your actions determine your destiny!

4. Your journey is for YOU alone. And then you get to share it with whoever you choose. Who you are is what makes YOU extraordinary! As Maria Rainer Rilke says “And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” Don’t be afraid to explore, and learn and grow, to experience a life through your believing eyes.

5. Wake up! You have a terminal illness..it’s called “LIFE”! Look at this gift you have been given, start unwrapping it and watch it’s miracles unfold before you. Choose to be brave “anyway”, to follow your heart “anyway” and to live happy without approval… “anyway.”

Wherever you are in your life,
May you be be safe and well!

Lucinda

YOU have questions? Drop me a line. I’m delighted to help.

In the Spirit of Collaboration -work with me!

Are you overwhelmed in your life or anxious about a decision you need to make? Are you ready to make changes in your life and ready to start helping yourself, but you just don’t know where to begin?

I believe everyone knows what they want, but life sometimes just gets in the way and we think we have forgotten. We forget that we have all the right questions and all the right answers inside us – and that’s where I come in!

I love working with people and watching them take charge of their lives. Helping them discover next steps and seeing them take them. So that when they hit another “bump-in-the-road” they know what to do for themselves!

Just contact me and let’s book a “Clarity Session” to discuss how we can work together so you can take charge of yourself and your life again.

I’d love to hear from you!

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