to live your life tolerating things you shouldn’t!
At the beginning of the year one of my major intentions was to simplify. Not just in the way I live on a daily basis, but also in the things I own, the way I look at life and the activities I am part of.
As I was wondering where to begin, I realised that while I keep clutter at bay, and everything has a home, I did seem to be hoarding rather a lot of items that fell into the “just in case” category.
Then there were the things I’d “paid good money” for and thought was a waste to throw away, or gifts or items that used to mean something, but, now were just there!
The more I paid attention, the more I noticed that I was tolerating these things taking up space “just in case” I might need them again. But, they were taking up the space I could be using today!
My simplifying experiment was that through all of January I had to get rid of 2 things a day minimum from my “stash” of just in case things I was hanging onto; and see what kind of effect that had on me and what kind of difference would that make in my life.
I can’t in truth say it was always easy to let go of items, but once I started my reasoning shifted along with lifetime habits of justifying why I hung onto certain things without really thinking about it.
Not only did it get easier to sort out the irrelevant from the useful things, I began to have FUN letting things go to new homes as well as sometimes the necessary dumping in the rubbish bin!
All change can feel like some kind of risk, which always triggers fear even if you don’t recognise it as such. It can feel like loss, discomfort, embarrassment at wasting money, so letting go one thing at a time definitely reduces the natural feelings of the angst we all experience and makes the process way more manageable!
The obvious outcome
… was being able to reclaim all kinds of space in my home. Having more physical space was certainly great! But it was an unexpected relief at no longer having to think about dealing with all that stuff that was much more noticeable.
Every thing in our lives that we don’t absolutely love, isn’t useful or meaningful takes energy from us in some form or other. Every time you look around your home and notice something you don’t love, something that’s out of place, creating a muddle, is broken, missing a part or taking up needed space – you will consciously or unconsciously add to your list of “things you need to get to someday.”
When you no longer have to do that, you can look around smiling with pleasure, it’s almost shocking when you first notice the difference in how your space feels.
THEN, you will find you have the time, the creativity and energy to focus on what you really want to bring into your life!
The unexpected outcome
I was noticing how putting my focused attention on one area of my life, suddenly shone a spotlight on all kinds of ways I tolerate things, put up with situations or get stuck thinking I don’t know what to do next.
Any change in our lives brings in new focus and ideas, we begin to rethink and notice all kinds of things that we hadn’t before. Usually we are so busy getting from morning to night or Monday to Friday, our concentration is only on the next thing to be done.
So if you feel like you’re running in place or living the same days, day in and day out you probably are tolerating things you shouldn’t or just not knowing what the next step could be.
Let go of the habit of avoiding or ignoring the irritations and stuck habits in your life with a few simple action steps!
Putting something off – instantly makes it harder and scarier to begin again, and there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.
Enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can – Smile more or give yourself a hug when blue moods hover, it actually works. If you’re smiling, you’re doing something right. Make a list of things you could do that bring you pleasure and then choose one to do in difficult times.
People who bring you down – Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Spend more time with people, who like you just the way you are!
Always being late and having to rush – Get up earlier, so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. 30 minutes preparation each day will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness and all the unnecessary headaches that come with constantly rushing.
A work environment or career field you hate – Don’t settle on the first or second career field you dabble in. Keep searching. But meanwhile, do you absolutely hate it? Or is your only focus on the negative? Sometimes looking for the good things can create a whole new way of feeling. Eventually, you will find work you love to do.
Your own negativity – We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.
Start listening to your thoughts. If you hear negative thoughts, stop and replace them with something that feels easier and more pleasant.
You can’t leap from total distress to absolute optimism in seconds.
You can though, reach for a slightly different feeling that brings some relief. The more you practice the easier it is to shift your thinking
Be aware of criticising others or complaining – So stop worrying about the flaws you see in everyone else, and focus on yourself. Let the constant growth and improvement in your own life keep you so busy that you have no time left to criticize others.
Unnecessary miscommunication – Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Speak clearly. Ask questions. Clarify things until you understand them.
Fear of change -Life is always changing. Every day is different. Every day is a new beginning and a new ending. Embrace it and make the best of it. Get creative with your problem solving one step at a time!
Inaction – Either you’re going to take action and seize new opportunities or you’ll stay thinking wishfully…if only! You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it.
Quit trying to be someone else – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you, and you’ll love yourself more too.
Doing the same exact thing over and over again – You are the sum of your life experiences. The more you experience, the more interesting your life story gets.
YOU have questions? Drop me a line. I’m delighted to help.
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