Creating Rituals Part II

What are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for something to happen first?

Waiting for the “right” moment?

Or waiting to feel better in some way before you try something new?

We’ve all been conditioned to think that, when we HAVE what we want, then we’ll BE happier or more successful and then … we’ll be able to DO what we really want.

And so we stay stuck – “waiting” to HAVE the right conditions, the right people, the right job, the right time and to feel right in ourselves or BE happier before we take action or make changes.

I do it myself, I often catch myself “waiting” to feel inspired, or “waiting” to have “enough time,” or :waiting” to feel “more enthusiastic,” before tackling some task that is overwhelming or a bit difficult.

The trouble is, the longer we “wait” the longer it takes for that right moment to arrive!

Here’s the problem

We need to be thinking BE-DO-HAVE

You have to BE prepared to DO the thing you need to do, so you can HAVE what you desire!

WHY do we struggle with this?

We’ve spent years avoiding discomfort in any form

We are afraid the outcome won’t be what we want

We are afraid we might get it wrong

We have overfilled our lives and so we put off the most “difficult” things until we are forced to face them (i.e. making ourselves a priority)

We don’t have strong habits in place to help us get the difficult, awkward or scary things done.

Why Rituals and simple Habits work!

As we create habits through ritual action, they simply become

“just what I do”

You sit down.

You do it, even if it’s a little scary.

It’s a scheduled event.

You get to feel the experience of completion and having achieved a goal.

You get relief from the fear of taking action. You teach yourself that you can trust in your self!

You feel great! Because you know the experience of getting things done takes WAY less energy than it does to be –

  • constantly talking about them,
  • thinking about them,
  • worrying about them
  • and getting stressed out over them!

Many of my private coaching clients LOVE the AM and PM rituals I give them because it’s such a simple exercise and yields profound results.

It takes 5 min each morning and evening – although you can spend longer if you like to.

At first glance it seems just too simple to make a difference but even after a week they begin to see:

Changes in themselves and their lives
New and bigger awareness and clarity shows up
Problems reduce in their intensity or get resolved with ease
Their “stuckness” dissolves and now they begin to open their eyes and see all kinds of new possibilities

I can hear their smiles even in their emails to me!

Creating a Morning Ritual

Creating an Evening Ritual

Approach all new practices with curiosity and gentleness.

We are used to trying to judge everything before we start and measure it against what we have tried and failed at other times. We are too used to thinking pain and struggle equals success.

Treat the moment you begin a practice with the idea of increasing your good, increasing your happiness.

Take the attitude of befriending yourself. Teach yourself how to have more trust in your promises to yourself

Sometime in the evening or at bedtime create a habit of reflecting on your day and WRITE about things you are appreciating, unexpected occurrences and your accomplishments for the day

5 mins is all it takes

I cannot emphasise enough the POWER of writing on paper with a pen or marker. Even better – is a specially chosen book and favourite writing implement. Make it a ritual of pleasure for yourself!

And (I mean this in the nicest way) DO NOT even think, to tell me you prefer to do it on your phone or other bit of technology. I realize I am up in your face a bit here…., but That’s Just YOU trying to get another “Task” done as quickly as possible … jus’ sayin!

Gratitudes: Use instances from your day, your home, your health or let your imagination go flying off the page. A minimum of 3 from you each day will begin to work it’s magic on you and your life

Gifts: Any unexpected income, help, phone calls, unexpected meetings, opportunities, ideas, inspiration, compliments, a hug. Did anything happen to do with the intention you set today?

Gains: Big or teeny-weeny, it doesn’t matter.

We usually remember all the things we didn’t do and rarely remember what we did accomplish.

If you had a difficult conversation and didn’t get all upset…write that down under gains

If you tried something new even if it didn’t go “perfectly”, notice you practiced and write it down. That’s an achievement

What else are you proud of yourself for today?

It is SO important to start acknowledging how much you do, instead of remembering ALL the things you didn’t do or should have done or could have done better?

Practices need to be repeated again and again until you “feel” a difference in yourself. Don’t scare yourself or second guess what’s going to happen.

Love yourself enough to begin

love yourself enough to continue

Love yourself enough to put some effort into your happiness and wellbeing.

Trust that Magic does and will happen – this I do know for sure!

Beating yourself up, criticism and self hatred take you no-where except down a black hole of depression, feeling helpless, blame, guilt and NO action and no progress.

NONE of which EVER helps you feel better or do better.

TUT says “Judging yourself for what you haven’t yet accomplished, is like finding fault with a lion because it can’t fly, a bird because it can’t swim, or tree because it can’t leave… well, you know what I mean.”

YOU can do this!

I know it …

What are you willing to do, so that YOU know it too?

YOU have questions? Drop me a line. I’m delighted to help.


Are you ready to take that step towards creating positive change in your life?

You may not know exactly what it is you actually want, but you do know you’re looking for the next steps and some support and guidance to help you improve your life and accomplish more of what you truly desire!

Let’s just talk and see how we can work together to get you clear, confident and back in the Game

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