My morning walks along the warm sand on the beach often find me pondering the complications of life.
So much is going on in my life right now, and this is my favorite place to go when I need quiet time to feel myself breathe and let go of all the “how to” questions in my head.
We all have this urge to be better people, don’t we? And we all feel the struggle to match our actions to the thoughts in our heads. Yet, this impulse for self-improvement, this desire for a more beautiful existence is ancient and enduring and is the first necessary step in the quest for a deeper life, for one of inner freedom.
And then we find our desire for more turns unwieldy and full of self-recrimination “I ought to lose 15lbs,” “I should be calm,” thoughts full of all the ways we are lacking. Frustration and shaky confidence trips us up, we get afraid to try again in case we might still end up being unhappy and dissatisfied.
“SHOULD” thoughts are soul destroying, not helpful in the least. They’re neither curious or compassionate, and when we’re in those places we don’t even notice the pain we bring down on ourselves, because we’re too busy believing this IS THE WAY to get what we want.
“You are PERFECT, and you could use a bit of improvement” says Shunryo Suzuki Roshi…
is a gentler way to look at yourself and your desires
Asking the right questions
When I walk the beach, I quieten down. It’s easier to separate myself from the “what I don’t have,” or the “I don’t know how” thoughts.
When I get quiet I find myself posing questions like “what do I really want?”, how would I like to feel?’ “How would I like my day to be today?” “what would make me happier than when I woke up this morning?”
When I am quietening down, I notice the difference. These thoughts are fresh and curious, there’s a feeling of movement and possibility.
For me, these are the kinds of questions that actually generate a shift of perspective, a new idea, a next step or creative endeavor to follow. They also feel better. They bring relief to exhaustion and frustration. These are the questions that will help you to show up in your life.
When you show up and pay attention, life responds in helpful ways.
Time is on your side
And this is great!
BUT. There’s always a but, isnt there?
So we get an idea or next step, we’re all excited and then 2 days later it’s as if our memories got wiped clean. Ever had that happen? 🙂
Or we find ourselves with the familiar refrain pouring forth…I have no TIME!
I totally get this. I am experiencing it with daily walks and meditation practice. I want to do these things. I love doing these things. I am reaping the benefit from these things.
And then I don’t do these things. In my head I have VERY justifiable excuses! But, in my heart I know I’m telling myself porkies!
Because we always make time if we really want something.
Our excuse is a long standing habit. Everyone uses it, so it seems real. It’s firmly entrenched in our thinking. Not easy at all to change.
So if you’re using “NO time” as your excuse for not stepping up, may I suggest you start listening and acknowledging when this is the case.
Often awareness is the first step to change.
Perhaps a self reminder when we start new things, even little things, that we might feel a teensy bit scared.
Remind ourselves it’s OK to feel scared.
Scary shows up in our lives as “I don’t have enough time.
It shows up in the multitude of excuses we find to avoid doing what we said we really wanted to do.
Finding more LOVE
I believe the thoughts we have about a lack of time, are more about being afraid to love ourselves enough.
I often forget this.
I think more love is the answer.
More love is found with gentle encouragement and lots of cheerleading.
More love is found when we reduce our own suffering.
And when we are willing to ask ourselves the right questions.
And listen for the answers.
When we think less, knowing flows in.
When we love deeply we are strong.
And when we are strong, we can help ourselves.
And others.
When we are happy, we put more happiness in the world.
And that is what we need.
My wish is for us all to find our way out of the struggle with time.
And just fall in love with ourselves.
YOU have questions? Drop me a line. I’m delighted to help.
WORK WITH ME
Are you ready to take that step towards creating positive change in your life?
You may not know exactly what it is you actually want, but you do know you’re looking for the next steps and some support and guidance to help you improve your life and accomplish more of what you truly desire!
Let’s just talk and see how we can work together to get you clear, confident and back in the Game of Your Life.
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