Life is often unpredictable, and some of the most memorable moments in your life won’t necessarily be the things you do; they’ll be things that “happen” to you.
This doesn’t mean you can’t take action to affect the immediate outcome of the situation.
But, often we close our hearts to uncomfortable situations because we’re afraid to be hurt.
An open-hearted attitude to owning our feelings at these times, is invaluable to us, if we are to overcome disappointments and negative situations in a healthy way
Reminding ourselves that negative feelings, are simply feelings, and they will pass, does help.
Providing we give ourselves permission to feel them.
When we can’t or won’t allow ourselves to be OK with how we feel, negative feelings anchor themselves into our consciousness and sub-consciousness, and they fester.
In that moment we lose the opportunity to choose a better feeling.
Or to be compassionate with ourselves.
Instead, we probably search around for someone to blame for our pain and discomfort.
The challenge of disappointment allows us to practice living closer to who we want to be and stops us from being swallowed up by it.
1. Avoid white knuckle control
For instance, when you are short on time and long on the to-do-list and you don’t give yourself any room for the unexpected.
Although I’m much better than I used to be, I still have plenty of moments of going for control in places I have no business going. It’s not unusual for me to use my perfectly good energy reserves trying to plan, predict, and prevent things that I cannot possibly plan, predict, or prevent.
Like most people I know, I spend more time than is good for me with my nose in business that’s not mine. So, as a recovering control freak, I can tell you what I know for sure.
“We have no control over things, people and situations!”
Only over how we respond or react in the moment
Notice when you try to control things because you are afraid of what will happen if you don’t.
Be ready to implement a Plan B!
2. Give disappointment a voice
When time is a scarce resource we loose patience with ourselves and the ability to to see the bigger picture.
So when disappointment hits- give yourself permission to vent in some way or other as soon as you can. If you can’t do it out loud then grab pen and paper and rage away.
Be the absolute victim on the page, don’t judge your feelings, just “let-er-rip!”
Scribble as hard as you can while muttering your frustration under your breath.
Name the feelings you feel. When you do this, you release them from captivity and they just float away.
I found this amazingly effective for letting go of the discomfort quickly.
Children cry and scream and get into the immediacy of an upsetting situation. Adults battle on trying to make bad situations better. With less luck that we’d own up to if we were honest.
Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling without any agenda of speeding up the process. Whatever you are feeling is OK. Simply feel whatever you feel without moving to fix or change it. That action alone is sufficient to release the angst.
Don’t shy away from these moments. Be present in them.
3. Get some perspective as quickly as you can.
Disappointment brings up strong emotions and thoughts. Giving yourself permission to really feel them for a few minutes, is a very healthy way to shift your perspective.
Doing this is like saying to yourself “I hear you, and you deserve to feel what you are feeling right now.”
This is befriending yourself. Own your feelings, don’t run away from them. This creates space to breathe and regroup.
There is always a gift on the other side of a negative experience, and with a little perspective we can usually see a better way of doing something or a way we might have contributed to the circumstance.
This is how we learn to be the bigger person, to be more accepting, patient, kinder to others and ourselves.
Experiencing disappointment or any pain allows us to apply compassion and to grow.
4. And talking of Acceptance….
Even though we know that “stuff” happens, we’re not always willing to accept it in the moment.
Imagine this – One door may have closed, but maybe it opened a window or two, and the whole experience can lead to something even better for you. Noticing something good in the situation will expand your thinking and allow you to see opportunities and ideas where you may not have seen them before
Life is full of disillusionment, dissatisfaction, feeling disheartened and being let down.
Use your power of choice, and choose to see what might be directly on the other side, because chances are, it’s so much better than you could have imagined.
Choose an intention about feeling better … say it often, write it on sticky notes and leave them around where you’ll see them often.
“All my emotions are acceptable”
“I am safe with all my emotions”
“I am doing the best I can”
“I approve of me”
“Lets see if I can find a better way of feeling now”
“I love you, (your name) and know you are doing the best you can”
Give yourself time and space to feel uncomfortable and be willing to feel healthier feelings.
I wish you joy on your journey
I wish you deeper attention
Stronger intention
And the time and space to create new and more joyful moments in your life
Namaste
Work with Me!
Reiki Master, Coach and Practitioner
Are you ready to make this year, the one where you intentionally make better and more empowered choices for yourself?
To risk more, to be wiser, more committed to changing your life for the better?
Would you love some support and accountability to start accomplishing more of what you say you want to do, and you’d love some guidance for where to begin?
Here’s your chance to stop settling, to discover and create what it is you really want in your life. Let’s just talk and see how we can work together, and get you clear, confident and back in the Game!
Isn’t it time you discovered and claimed what your heart longs for.
Please do GET IN TOUCH with me here, I’d be delighted to talk to you